A few years ago I met Ryan. We dated for 9 months when I was abruptly hit with the “I think I need some time alone” talk. Don’t ya hate that when that happens!?! But whatever, life went on.
We kept in touch. Two years later, he came back into my life wanting to give “us” a try again. We started texting, and I soon starting receiving numerous texts of sexy 5” Louboutin’s, YSL, and Blahnik’s.
Ryan was ready and willing to drop $1000 on a pair of designer shoes. Like most girls, I love shoes. Would my choice be 5” heels that I can’t walk in? No, personally my choice would be boots. I’m a definite boot junky.
At first I thought how sweet and generous it was for Ryan to buy me a pair of expensive shoes. But when I thought about it, I realized the shoes were a present for him, not me. Especially when he said he couldn’t wait to f**k me in the shoes. Being a chic, I decided to test him. (Yes, girls test guys all the time. Sad but true. We are not always sugar and spice and everything nice.)
I sent him a photo of a pair of boots I really wanted with a text saying “I think I would much rather have the rag & bone boots than the YSL shoes.” He didn’t respond. I felt a little resentful. I thought he only cared about sex and shoes.
Three days later I was pleasantly surprised when UPS delivered the boots. Ryan agreed the shoes were for him and he wanted me to have the boots I liked. He bought me both so we both could be happy. Major brownie points on that one!
Disclosing a fetish can be nerve wracking. Exposing a desire is not always easy. You can either make a choice to “come out” and be open or keep it to yourself. If your relationship starts to get serious, it’s going to be hard to hold back what excites you from your partner.
Whether your fetish is shoes, lingerie, dominance etc. the best advice I can give you is to bring up your fetish organically. If shoes do it for you, find a photo of the shoes you like and say “I think these would look great on you, what do you think?”
If you like bondage, get Netflix and watch 9 1/2 Weeks or Fifty Shades of Grey. After the movie have a conversation about sex. Maybe start by saying “have you ever been tied up or blindfolded? What are your feelings about that?” Don’t get discouraged if your partner says she’s not interested. Sometimes it takes time for a girl to be open to something she hasn’t been exposed to. What I would say, is don’t surprise her with your fetish.
My girlfriend and had a great laugh the other day when thinking back to a guy she was seeing last year who had a surprise birthday gift for her. Unintentionally, Jackie found her present. Just what every girl wants for her birthday, a ball gag! I wonder who’s genius idea that was? Needless to say, Jackie wasn’t up for being gagged on her birthday and that was the last she saw Tim.
Although its fictional, in Fifty Shades of Grey, it took time for Anastasia to let down her guard to Christian’s desires. If a girl is really into you, she will most likely want to please you. My best advice is to make sure you support her needs and desires, so she doesn’t feel like it’s all about you. Take care of her and she will take care of you! And by the way, I’ve grown pretty fond of my YSL shoes.