It’s summer, everyone is out having fun, you just started dating a girl or have a girl friend you’d like to get to know better. How nice would it be to do a weekend trip? One little problem: you’ve haven’t slept with her yet. Yup, it’s awkward. It’s definitely awkward. Do you ask her if she wants her own room? Do you get one room and play it by ear? Sticky situation. I want to tell you about an experience I had which gave me a lot of insight to write this blog.
At the time, I was living in Los Angeles. I received a text from a guy I grew up with that said “Hey, I’m in San Fran this weekend, if I send you a ticket, will you come up?” Without thinking, I sent a text back “Sure.”
I hear the swoosh of my text and all I can think is “OMG! I just told him I would come spend the night!” I never even kissed this guy let alone get intimate with him! I was attracted to him, but I wasn’t ready to jump into bed with him. Crap! Good Job Lorraine, now what?
I asked myself:
“Will he get me my own room?”
“Should I ask for my own room?”
“Maybe I should tell him I forgot I had plans?” etc. . .
What did I do? Nothing. I decided to wait and deal with it when I got there.
Fast forward: my flight landed, my friend picked me up at the airport, we went out for a nice dinner, followed by a romantic walk along the water. So far so good. During the drive back to the hotel we caught up on each others lives. We covered everything except the sleeping arrangements. (Of course I’m mentally kicking myself for not being clear about the room situation.)
We get to the hotel, as we’re walking down the hall to the room, I start freaking out because I’m nervous and don’t want to share a bed with him. Slowly, he opens the the door, and steps aside so I can walk in. What do I see? TWO BEDS! I was shocked. I think he saw the look on my face because he said “I didn’t want to assume.” I couldn’t believe he got two beds! How classy was that? At that moment, I felt respected; the pressure was off. I had choices. (Btw, the second bed was never used.)
I wanted to share this is because it’s important for you to know that if you respect a woman, she will let down her guard and start trusting you. If your goal is intimacy, establishing trust in the beginning of a relationship is critical.
Don’t assume. If you haven’t slept with a girl and would like to take her away, be upfront with her. Ask her if she wants her own room or a two bedroom suite, same room- two beds, one bed? A woman likes to be in control. Give her choices. If she says “yes” she wants her own room, don’t take it personally. Some of us need time. Just because you book two rooms doesn’t mean you can’t end up in one.