She’s Hot, She’s Fun, and

SHE”S A SINGLE MOM!

Q: “I met a really cool girl, she’s a single mom, she gave me her number, but when I try to get together with her, she’s always busy.  Should I give up?  I feel like she’s blowing me off.”   Mike, Miami, Fla.

The single mom question is indeed a GREAT QUESTION.  Especially for a guy who doesn’t have children. This is a question I’ve been asked more than once.  My son is sixteen.  I’ve been a single mom from day one. We’ve been through ups, downs, winding roads and sharp turns. I know this subject well.

Single moms have a certain allure to a guy who likes to rescue. For others, they see a chic with kids and run.  Too much baggage!  This guy knows that sex is not going to be her first priority. Don’t get me wrong, sex is a priority for us ( at least for me) but, with the demands of children and the lack of privacy, it can be a challenge.

The diversion of having a strong, handsome listening ear who is offering some much needed adult time is endearing.  When my son was still in diapers, the gal at my photo lab wanted to introduce me to another photographer she worked with. ( did I mention I’m a photographer?) This guy was a California native, divorcee with girls in their tweens. He was 12 yrs older, salt and pepper hair, sexy, surfer type, incredible artist and had a voice like Kevin Costner. Basically, he was pretty hot.  But, he definitely was a bit edgy, and I was a neurotic new mom. We dated for about a year until one day he said ” Lorraine, you clearly have too much on your plate, maybe we can try this again when your kid grows up.”  We stayed in touch, remained friends, explored a few dates years later, but the spark was gone.

It’s definitely not easy dating a single mom.  If Dad is involved, and your single mom has kid free days, it’s much easier to work out a feasible dating schedule.  Just realize that dating a single mom can be very challenging no matter what the circumstances are.  It can surely be an amazing experience, but I don’t recommend going down this path unless you understand the following:

  1. You will most likely NOT come first and may never come first.
  2.  She will not always be available even when she does have time. — Her time will be limited.  I can’t even          begin to count how many times I’ve been asked out and was too tired to go and chose to stay home and chill.
  3. You will be hanging out with kids and doing kid things. – This is just part of the package. Time spent together will not always be one on one.
  4. You can’t be a control freak. – Raising a child alone tends to make a woman very guarded.  She needs to protect her young. Having a guy come in your life and tell you what you should or shouldn’t be doing, just doesn’t work.
  5. Single moms are not looking for a guy who is in fling mode.  — When a child is involved, it’s not just about hooking up.  Don’t even go there if your not serious.  When kids are involved, you need to be mindful.  There is nothing worse than being in a situation where your kid gets attached to your boyfriend and then you break up. Been there!  That being said, if you are still interested in pursuing  a single mom, and are okay with the checklist above, go for it.  Take it slow, be patient and understanding.  You may become part of this family.

What Is It About Guys with Tats?

Last night I had a G2G ( girl to girl)  text exchange with my bestie Elaine. Elaine is my muse and works closely with me on Girls Unedited – she’s pretty much amazing !

L: I was looking at your Instagram, I didn’t know you were into guys with tats.

E: Yeah, I love tattoos. My friend, Brigid, got me into this Canadian body builder with tattoos over half his body.

L: Do you have any tats?

E: Yeah, I have music symbols on my hips.

L: (laughing) Do they play music when you have sex?

E: (laughing) No, but that might be fun. Do you have any tattoos?

L: Yeah, I have a tribal symbol of wings on my lower back. I’m waiting for them to get clipped so I can settle down.

E: (laughs)

L:  You like tattoos on guys?

E: Yes. I have a nerdy reason and a sexy reason.

L: What’s your nerdy reason?

E: I like the stories behind them.

L:  I agree, the symbolism can be really cool.

E: Yeah, and some of the stories are crazy.

L: What’s your sexy reason?

E: Well, when someone finds a good tattoo artist who understands how muscles move on a body and they place the tattoo just so, that’s really hot.

L: I just love it when you can see a guys tat peak out from under his shirt.

E: Yes! Makes you think.

L:  Right. It makes you wonder if they’re a bad boy or a just little edgy.  Look at Beckham. He is covered and super hot.  Not all guys could pull that off.

E: He really does pull it off. Soccer players are kind of notorious for their tats.

L: Where’s your favorite place on a guy for a tattoo?

E: I really like chest tattoos.

L: I like shoulder blades and on the arm. If a guy has a good chest, that can be pretty sexy.

E: What’s your favorite tattoo?

L: I like different variations of tribal tattoos.

Hell YES!  I’m a sucker for a guy with a Tattoo.  When I decided to write this blog I had deja vu  about a guy I met with a great tattoo.  At the time I was living in Venice Beach, Ca.  I was at the ATM on Windward Ave. when I saw a hot guy about 6’2″, olive skin, dark shoulder length hair, athletic body, sweats and a distressed jean shirt walking toward me.

First thing I notice is a sexy tribal tat peaking out from under his shirt. He came over to me, introduced himself and said he thought I was cute and asked if I lived close by.  John was visiting from Tasmania, staying at the hostel across the street. He had a rockin’ accent and was super charming.  After 15 minutes of talking, he asked me if I would mind if he showered at my apartment.

Shower? I was like “OMG, shower?  As in water, naked?”

“I don’t even know you.”

He replied in a very soft sensuous voice, ” Yes you do, you like me.” (He was spot on with that, he was very cute.)

“The showers are horrible at the hostel, can I come over?” he asked.  Out of the norm, I decided “why not!” In Kabbalah they say “Go out of your box.” I’ve never done anything like this.  I figured, I’ll try almost anything once.  As the story goes, we ended up in a great relationship for almost a year until he moved back home. To this day, I can still remember his tattoo and it’s enigma that pulled me in to want to get to know this stranger better.

Tattoos may not equal sex appeal to some conservatives or Jews, but I think the general consensus seems to be that tattoos do in fact enhance a guy’s sex appeal, within reason.  Face and full body tattoo’s fall outside of this idea. I asked the girls of Girls Unedited what goes on in their head when they see a guy with a tat, the comments I got were :

“this guy isn’t afraid to walk on the wild side”

” he must be good in bed”

“shows he’s not afraid of pain”

“he’s passionate and not afraid to show it”

“he probably has a bad boy side – that’s hot”

“mysterious, I want to know his story”

“he must have a big d**k, he had the balls to get a tat”

Based on the girls’ comments I think a great nickname for a guy’s tat is a “stud stamp.” Much better then the girls “tramp stamp.”

“My body is my journal and my tattoo is my story.”
-Johnny Depp

If you’re thinking about inking, do your research!

  • Don’t  bargain shop for your artist – A talented artist is not cheap – nor should they be. Check out different shops, get references, read yelp reviews, have him or her do sketches for you, make sure hygiene is a top priority. No garage tattoos! Go to a reputable shop.
  • Design – do your homework.  Think twice about doing your girlfriend’s name, a naked chick, a “MOM” tat…. it’s really not a turn on to see another girl’s sketch or name on a guy’s arm.  And “Mom” should probably stay on greeting cards, it’s just not very sexy.  Your art represents you.  Removals are not fun or cheap.  Sleep on it!

Lucy Unedited

Why I Kissed Him On The First Date

Last week ago I wrote a post on “7 Things NEVER to do on a first date.”  #1 was never to kiss a girl on the first date.

Well, Never say Never.

Now I’m putting my tail between my legs and retracting what I said. Please keep in mind that what I write is based on opinion. There is no right or wrong, but there is an exception to most advice and usually every rule.

A few days ago I took my son to a hockey camp and met a hot hockey coach who asked me out for a drink.  I fully intended our get together to be all about hockey and what I need to know as a parent. Generally, I go by the “don’t shit where you eat” phrase, but, like I said, this was an exception.

That night we got together and spent hours at the hotel’s Tiki pool bar. It was a balmy southern California evening, he was rockin’ Lululemon which I LOVE. In case you’re not up on the brand, Lululemon is a great active wear brand from Canada. We had a few drinks, watched the Disney fireworks and had a very in depth conversation about dating, sex, romance, divorce, single parenthood and more.

It was really cool to have such an open conversation with a guy I just met. There was no pressure. We both knew that the next day he would be off on a plane to the mid-west and I would be here in LA. I call it being present and enjoying the moment.

I actually think we all need to do that more often. Not worry about tomorrow.  If we spend all our time worrying about tomorrow, we lose where we are today.

Anyway, getting down to my point of writing this: after a few hours and a few too many drinks, J.R. (all names are changed for privacy) slowly leaned over, pressed his lips very gently to mine and gave me one of the most provocative French kisses I’ve ever had.

Rarely, have I kissed a guy on a first date – why J.R? I think because he was so in touch with who he was, he listened and wanted to learn about me, shared inner thoughts about himself. By the time he went to kiss me, I was so comfortable with him, I wanted to kiss him back. He was a guy who understood girls.

So guys, if it feels right, you will know it.  Go for it!  Give her an unforgettable kiss.  If you are wondering how to give her an unforgettable kiss, stay tuned.  Coming soon.

7 Things Not To Do On A First Date

You went out with a girl for the first time, you thought it went great, but then you never heard back from her again. Most likely it’s not about you. She might be too busy at work and doesn’t want a relationship. Maybe she’s still into her ex-boyfriend. OR, it might be something you did. Check out this list to make sure you didn’t make an obvious wrong move.

DO NOT:

  • KISS — Yup, no kissing on the first date. At the very least, no kissing with tongue. I can’t really explain why, but it works. I think it’s an ego thing with women. We expect guys to want to kiss us so when you don’t, it throws us a curve ball and we want you even more.
  • GET ON YOUR PHONE — If you have kids at home it’s perfectly fine to keep your phone available for emergencies. But, if it’s not important, don’t pick up your phone. And guys, keep your phone turned over. Seeing another chick call is not a turn on.
  • BATHE IN COLOGNE — Too much cologne can be a total deal breaker. Remember, you don’t really know this girl. She could be allergic or the cologne might be offensive. Personally, heavy cologne makes me sick. Wear something fresh and subtle. Even a good aftershave could be nice.
  • TALK ABOUT EX’S — Don’t trash your Ex! You dated her. Why are you with crazy chicks? Are you crazy?
  • SHOW UP UNKEMPT — Okay, I know a lot of you don’t like to fuss, BUT you must make sure your nails are clean and trimmed, your hair is washed, your facial hair is either non-existent or groomed. The last thing you want a girl to say is “he was nice but his nails were too long” or “cool guy but his hair smelled like a greasy old man” or “he looked like he slept in his clothes.”
  • OVER TALK YOUR DATE — Make sure you listen to what your date has to say. And prove it by asking her question. No girl wants to hear a guy talk about themselves all night. If she asks you about yourself — great! If not, ask her questions.
  • MAKE IT A LONG NIGHT — Go out, have fun, enjoy the conversation but don’t make it the everlasting date. You have a life remember?! Girls like busy guys. Leave her wanting more.

How To Wrap HER Head Around YOUR Fetish??

A few years ago I met Ryan. We dated for 9 months when I was abruptly hit with the “I think I need some time alone” talk.  Don’t ya hate that when that happens!?!  But whatever, life went on.

We kept in touch. Two years later, he came back into my life wanting to give “us” a try again. We started texting, and I soon starting receiving numerous texts of sexy 5” Louboutin’s, YSL, and Blahnik’s.

Ryan was ready and willing to drop $1000 on a pair of designer shoes. Like most girls, I love shoes. Would my choice be 5” heels that I can’t walk in? No, personally my choice would be boots. I’m a definite boot junky.

At first I thought how sweet and generous it was for Ryan to buy me a pair of expensive shoes. But when I thought about it, I realized the shoes were a present for him, not me. Especially when he said he couldn’t wait to f**k me in the shoes.  Being a chic, I decided to test him. (Yes, girls test guys all the time. Sad but true. We are not always sugar and spice and everything nice.)

I sent him a photo of a pair of boots I really wanted with a text saying “I think I would much rather have the rag & bone boots than the YSL shoes.” He didn’t respond. I felt a little resentful. I thought he only cared about sex and shoes.

Three days later I was pleasantly surprised when UPS delivered the boots. Ryan agreed the shoes were for him and he wanted me to have the boots I liked. He bought me both so we both could be happy. Major brownie points on that one!

Disclosing a fetish can be nerve wracking. Exposing a desire is not always easy. You can either make a choice to “come out” and be open or keep it to yourself. If your relationship starts to get serious, it’s going to be hard to hold back what excites you from your partner.

Whether your fetish is shoes, lingerie, dominance etc. the best advice I can give you is to bring up your fetish organically. If shoes do it for you, find a photo of the shoes you like and say “I think these would look great on you, what do you think?”

If you like bondage, get Netflix and watch 9 1/2 Weeks or Fifty Shades of Grey. After the movie have a conversation about sex. Maybe start by saying “have you ever been tied up or blindfolded? What are your feelings about that?” Don’t get discouraged if your partner says she’s not interested. Sometimes it takes time for a girl to be open to something she hasn’t been exposed to.  What I would say, is don’t surprise her with your fetish.

My girlfriend and had a great laugh the other day when thinking back to a guy she was seeing last year who had a surprise birthday gift for her.  Unintentionally, Jackie found her present. Just what every girl wants for her birthday, a ball gag! I wonder who’s genius idea that was?  Needless to say, Jackie wasn’t up for being gagged on her birthday and that was the last she saw Tim.

Although its fictional, in Fifty Shades of Grey, it took time for Anastasia to let down her guard to Christian’s desires. If a girl is really into you, she will most likely want to please you. My best advice is to make sure you support her needs and desires, so she doesn’t feel like it’s all about you. Take care of her and she will take care of you!  And by the way, I’ve grown pretty fond of my YSL shoes.

Heat It Up With Horny Goat Weed

A few days ago an old friend popped up on Facebook, Dr. James Mechino. It had been such a long time since I last saw this guy that I couldn’t remember if I had dated him or if he wrote for my father’s fitness magazine. What I did remember is that Jim is an incredible nutritionist, and handsome to boot.

Canadian born, he is a doctor of chiropractic, holds a master’s degree in science, with specialties in nutrition and biology, and holds several other medical credentials. I asked Jim if he would be interested in guest blogging for Girls Unedited. I figured who better to educate my readers on topics such as sports nutrition, endurance, hair loss, libido… The stars must have been aligned because he agreed to my request.

Great to have a guy like Dr. J ( No comparison to the basketball great although he does have some awesome slam junks).  Years ago when we first met, he was on the forefront of health and is still leading the way. He’s a man ahead of his game.

Our first topic is Libido with a capital L.  L as in LOVE, LUST, LUCKY….. LORRAINE. Ha!  On a serious note, I was fascinated by a new product Jim developed called SensaGen.  Some say it’s the new Viagra.

If you’re looking to take your “penis off pause,”  or just want to turn the heat up, keep reading! Dr. Mechino tells why these 6 herbs will be your new best friend.

  • Tribulus Terrestris or Puncture Vine
    Puncture Vine has been used for centuries to stimulate libido for both men and women. It increases the release of nitric oxide from blood vessels and nerves that supply blood flow to the penis and clitoris. That means more engorgement ( great word) and you know what that means, guys: firmer, longer lasting erections. NICE!! Women benefit too, we get increased sensitivity down below.  Double Nice!
  • Muira Puama or Potency Wood
    This comes from a root of tropical plants in Brazil. It can increase sexual potency and has been shown to reverse low libido and erectile dysfunction problems within two weeks. Women who take Potency Wood (I love that name!) improve their sex drives. That means more sexual desire, more sex, more fantasies and more and better orgasms. YES! YES!
  • Damiana or Tunera Aphrodisiaca
    Forget “the new world,” Damiana may be the greatest discovery Europeans made when they first landed in Central and South America. It increases genital sensitivity and arousal capabilities. They swear by it in Holland! Yowza!!
  • Epimedium aka Horny Goat Weed
    Horny Goat Weed is a real thing! It’s not a stoner joke or an urban legend, it’s the real deal. It got it’s name when Chinese farmers notice that it made their Goats frisky.  Scientists don’t know exactly how it works, but it consistently boosts desire, helps with erectile dysfunction and even fights fatigue. It’s a multi-tasker!
  • Avena Sativa or Wild Oat
    Wild Oat improves nerves so you get more feeling and more pleasure. This herb helps increase orgasms, need I say more?
  • Maca or Lepidium Meyennii Walp
    Maca comes from Peru and stimulates libido. They call this one the Female Viagra, but men get a nice libido boost from it, too.  Sounds like a good “cock”-tail party to me!

According to Dr. J, these herbs are safe. They have a long track record – in some case stretching back hundreds of years – and modern day clinical trials to back them up. If you have other health stuff going on, check in with your doctor. We don’t want to cause conflicts with any medications or other MD directives. But if you’re healthy and looking for a boost, ya might want to give it a try!

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7 Ways To Be The “He’s So Fckn Hot” Guy

When dating, first impressions are the most important ones.  When you meet a girl for the first time you want to keep her attention.  I couldn’t wait to write this post on why some guys are just so frickin’ sexy.

Chic magnet: A guy who exudes so much charisma, a girl can’t wait to get him in bed. This guy has no worries whether or not he will get lucky. Hell, he is LUCKY. When girls are around him they get butterflies in their stomach. When they’re not with him, they look at their phone and wait for his call. The question is WHY? WHY HIM?

I’ve thought about this for a few weeks. Asked my cousin, asked girlfriends, asked guy friends, even asked my dog. I had to dig deep and think about the guys in my life who had a quiet seduction that sucked me in. One particular guy stood out. Let’s call him Tray.

Tray is a nice looking guy, kind of pale, very pale actually, with reddish hair. He’s about 5’9 with a medium build. Not Bradley Cooper kinda sexy, but Tray kinda sexy. He’s probably sexier then any guy I know. Fact is, you don’t have to be a celebrity or a drop dead hottie to be sexy. Tray and I grew up in the same town, but we never hung out. I was good friends with his Dad. We connected on Facebook one day. He asked me to meet him for a drink the next time I was in town. I remember the day we met very vividly.

Back East, midsummer, late afternoon.  Tray was wearing a neutral pair of shorts (not jean shorts thankfully), an un-tucked oxford shirt and tan loafers. His look was preppy, casual and clean. His mannerism was calm and confident.  When we  greeted with a hug and kiss on the cheek, his hand slowly and softly brushed my back. No overbearing cologne (thank God again). Tray’s scent was natural and fresh. When I asked what he was wearing (thinking it was probably just soap), he said he had only used Tancho stick in his hair. (Love the smell of this stuff. It’s cheap, masculine and super sexy!) Over the course of a 4 hour evening, our chairs got closer and the butterflies in my stomach started fluttering. DAYUM!

LUCKY 7

HE:

  1.  smiles and has a good sense of humor – Every girl will tell you this is in the top 3.
  2.  he speaks in a measured voice  – not too loud and not too fast. “When you talk softer and slow down your speech, your voice will come across sexier.” Scott Hoist, voice over coach, Los Angeles, Ca.
  3.  is confident and interesting – doesn’t go on and on about himself. A good conversationalist is hard to come by.
  4.  has subtle gestures of touch  – “subtle” – The art of teasing in a humble way makes us crazy.
  5.  listens and looks into your eyes – let her know that you’re more interested in her then everyone around you.
  6.  is easy going – makes a you feel at peace. We live in a hectic world. A guy who makes you feel at peace is a keeper.
  7.  is present – his phone is on the table (preferably face down) in case of an emergency, but not a priority. There is a time and place for checking your email, IG, FB – and it’s NOT when you’re on a date.  That’s just “rude.”

The Date I Will Never Forget

Someone recently asked me: “What was the best date you ever went on?”

I was like, “Oh, geez, that’s a hard question!  The ” best date” I had to really think about.

After giving it a few minutes, I remembered meeting this guy a few years ago during a night out at our local sports bar with my son. Yeah, he was cute and charming, but what really impressed me, being a single mom, was how he engaged with Ty as they watched a hockey game. We had a great time talking, and as I was ready to leave, he asked me what I was doing in the morning. I said “Sleeping.”

He said, “Why don’t you wake up early and go with me to the English pub and watch a rugby game. . . it starts at 5am.” (!?)

The first thing out of my mouth was “Are you crazy?” But he persisted, saying “Be open! Try something new! Meet me there, and if you don’t have fun you never have to go again.”

I knew he was right. Sure, what he was suggesting sounded crazy (5am on a Saturday?), but I needed to be open to new things. So I woke up when it was still dark out and made it to the local English pub at 5am.

We downed a few Guinness with bacon and eggs, and I. Had. A. BLAST!! I stepped out of my box and felt good about it. So guys, don’t be afraid to ask that girl you just met to do something a little crazy. If you take a girl out with no expectations other then to laugh and have fun, she’ll be more likely to let her guard down and have a good time. Girls like guys who know what they want and have confidence.

What is 3 1/2 ” that You Should Never Leave Home Without?

You’re probably thinking, a credit card, breath mints, chap stick, cell phone?  Yes, they are all important to have with you, although, not what I’m talking about.  Still wondering?  Keep reading.

I had an experience the other day which prompted me to blog about the importance of  A BUSINESS CARD. Truth is, you never know when or where you’re going to meet a girl. Unfortunately,  if your life is anythihng like mine, you or she may be on the run.  Yesterday I lived this.

I took my son to the driving range, was in the Pro shop paying for a glove while having a brief conversation with a nice guy in line behind me.  We shared some small talk about the weather and his tee time.  After I paid, I said ” it was nice meeting you….have a great day.”  Out I walked.

Halfway to my car he stopped me. “Excuse me, here’s my card in case you’d like to meet for a drink sometime”.  I took his card,  and said “Thanks, that would be fun”.  Voluntarily, I reached in my wallet and gave him my card. I usually don’t do this, but because his approach was genuine and friendly, I didn’t even think about it.

How many times have you seen a girl you would like to get to know better, she walks away, and you have no way of contacting her. You don’t know her Facebook, you didn’t give her your number, and most probably, you didn’t get her number.  You get home and say to yourself  ” Crap, why didn’t I say something”. It happens all the time.  It’s called  “MISSING CONNECTIONS”.  You don’t need to have a long conversation with a girl in order to smile, give her your card, and mention the possibility of getting together.

This isn’t the first time a guy has given me his card and hopefully not the last. But, I have been in many situations where a guy fumbles in his wallet looking for a card. Either he can’t find one or doesn’t have any left. Then he starts looking for a small piece of paper to write his number on and can’t find a pen…  Not being prepared can lead a girl to say “That’s fine, I really have to go.” If she’s kind enough to wait for you to find that small, torn up paper to write on, will she keep it and call you? Or will she chuck it because her first impression of you was that your scattered and don’t have your shit together? And let’s forget about  you asking her to log your number in her phone, or vice versa.  Time is of the essence!

Can you ask her for her number? I wouldn’t do it.  I rarely  recommend a guy to ask a girl for her number unless he knows she’ll be okay with giving it out.  How can anyone read a girl’s mind?  Having a business card you can access quickly is key.  Looking back, I had a nine year relationship with a guy who gave me his business card while we were chatting in a food line at a park.  At the time I lived in Marina del Rey, California. He said he was looking to buy a condo for his parents and said “if you see anything nice for sale in the Marina, could you please let me know”.  I’m not sure if it was the salt and pepper hair, his electric blue eyes, or mint green Harley, but I soon found a condo for sale and used the excuse to call him.  Believe me, a girl WILL call you IF she is interested.  I back that 100%!!!

Therefor, even if you don’t work for a company that requires you to have a business card, for less then $20 you can order and design your own at VistaPrint. What’s your hobby?  Do you do work on the side?  Photographer, writer, IT, electrician… Get creative, and be ready for your next encounter on the fly.