What Happens in Vegas Gets Online

As you know, a few months ago I — for the first time — stepped on an online dating site. My mission was to check out profiles and profile pics so I could write about it with knowledge.  If you read my previous post  #1 Profile Mistake, my biggest takeaway was the horrendous profile shots of guys holding a cell phone looking in a mirror.

Fast forward, I ended up talking to a guy who lived in Vegas. First let me tell you, that what happens in Vegas doesn’t always stay in Vegas.  In this case, its ending up on my blog.

Nice guy, good looking, engaging personality, kids, seemed like a normal guy. Plan was the next time I came to visit my dad in Vegas, we would meet.  Trying to survive the desert heat, our date was scheduled for Saturday night. I got a phone call on Friday evening from Mr. Vegas. We chatted about this and that, he seemed respectful, even asked my son and I to his golf club. All seemed normal except for when the conversation progressed to anal bleaching. Anal bleaching? I thought I was pretty much up on things, but I guess I missed the anal bleaching train.  After a 20 minutes, we hung up  the phone with a meeting time and destination.

Ding! A text from Mr. Vegas. Low and behold what does he send? A frickin’ underwear selfie with a cell phone in the mirror! I couldn’t believe it. Here, this seemingly nice guy totally sabotaged himself. It was a deal breaker. As a somewhat mature woman, it made me feel like a piece of ass.

If I was already sleeping with him, and he sent me an undie shot (without the cellphone), casual and sexy, yes, it could definitely turn me on. His photo was tacky and classless. I immediately sent him a text saying “what makes you think I want to see you in your underwear?”  His answer: “Feeling lucky Punk” followed by “and you?” Come on, we all know Dirty Harry has better moves than that. And I could tell from the pic that he didn’t have a magnum in his pants, either.

I shut off my phone and went to bed.  When I woke up, I sent him a text cancelling our dinner. Bummer. He seemed like a nice guy. I was trying to keep open mind about online dating.  Although I had this major curve ball sent to me,  I think I’m going to give online dating one more chance. I’ve been talking to a guy from Maryland for a few weeks. I hate to say anything, but he seems amazing. I can’t let him go as of yet. So I’m driving to Maryland next week to meet him. Stay tuned.

A Gift to Please

By Melissa Monet

My first foray into sex toys was an introduction by a boyfriend. He wasn’t very subtle, he basically pulled out a flesh colored dildo and said “here, use this”. It was awful, smelled bad, and had a weird texture; it left me feeling blah. Back then there weren’t a lot of options, but luckily for us, the modern market is booming with a variety of gorgeous vibes and dildos that does the job and does it well.

Now before you go out and buy her a sex toy, remember that they are a personal choice. Women want efficiency, while you are probably looking for visual stimulation. So if you really want to watch your partner masturbate or want to give her something that really says you care, try one of these beauties.

When breaking the ice with a first time user, opt for a less obvious toy, something less phallic that only stimulates the clitoris. I recommend something small and dainty and non-phallic like the Je Joue. It’s the perfect example of a super-efficient, low key sex toy that doesn’t look like a toy. It’s perfect for a woman who is embarrassed someone might find it.

If she’s slightly more adventurous you can try a Lelo. Sleekly phallic, this is a great toy for women who aren’t afraid of insertion, but isn’t looking for something to fill her up. The Lelos have a variety of models and colors to choose from. This multi-speed vibrator is a favorite among women that want a vibe with class.

My personal favorite is The Bendable Touch by Evolve. I’m calling out this particular one because as a fan of the Rabbit Pearls of the past, this one is superior by far. The small, pliable phallus allows a woman to reach her G-spot without breaking an arm or wrist for the right angle, and the soft tongue feels amazing on the money spot. This is also completely waterproof, so once again, if it’s privacy she needs, this almost silent vibrator is perfect for the privacy of her shower.

Now if your lover is one of those “hard to cum” types, there is only ONE. The original Hitachi is a present from the Gods. Even the most difficult of orgasms cannot resist this mighty massager. Multi-speed and multi-purposed, this gigantic monstrosity doesn’t necessarily belay its real job, but it gets the job done. For someone sensitive, this is not the right toy, it’s just too fast and hard, but so many women I know rely on it because the stimulus overrides an overactive mind.

There are literally thousands of choices on the market; every color, shape and appendage, multi-tasking, dual controlled, tethered or battery operated, the world is her oyster…but isn’t it nice to know where to start?

 

Why He Took a Chance on Love

I was just scrolling through instagram and came across a great post.   It was so thoughtful and so spot on that I decided to post it on my blog.  What’s even more special about it, is that it was written by a guy.  It’s very rare to see a guy open up about his feelings.

” Only once in your life, I truly believe, you find someone who can completely turn your world around. You tell her things that you’ve never shared with another soul and she absorbs everything you say and actually want to hear more.  You share hopes for the future.  When something wonderful happens, you can’t wait to tell her about it, knowing that she will share in your excitement.  She is not embarrassed to cry with you when you are hurting or laugh when you make a fool of yourself.  Never does she hurt your feelings or make you feel like you are not good enough.  She builds you up rather then put you down.  She shows you things about yourself that make you feel special about yourself.  There is never any pressure, jealousy or competition.  There is only a quiet calmness when she is around. You can be yourself and not worry what she thinks because she loves you for who you are.  In her presence, there’s no need for continuous conversation.  You find quiet content in just having her nearby.  Things that never interested you before become fascinating because you know this person is special to you.  Open your heart knowing that there’s a chance it may be broken one day, there is also a chance that you will experience love and joy that you never dreamed possible.”

July – The Month For SEX

8 Unique First Dates

First dates can be difficult to plan if you don’t know the girl very well. In fact, most first dates are forgettable. How would you like to be the guy who’s first date left a long lasting impression? I spent a lot of time talking with other girls collaborating on 8 date ideas that will set your first date apart from other guys. I tried my best to include something for everyone.

  • Farmers Market/Brunch – Find a dish you’d like to make. Ask your date to go with you to a local farmer’s market, browse together as you buy the ingredients. Go back to your house or hers and cook together. It’s a fun time getting to know each other. This is a great date for a girl you already know, who isn’t opposed to going to your house.
  • Luxury Hotel Day – Many hotels like the Ritz Carlton, Four Seasons, Fairmont, Westin, Hyatt and some boutique hotels have outdoor pools. On a hot summer day, if you book a massage or pay a day rate, you can hang out by the pool all day, have lunch and enjoy. I don’t know any girl who would pass this date up.
  • Dive Bar – Let’s go shoot some pool! Most girls will be up for hanging out at a local neighborhood bar and playing some pool. This date will show her that you’re not pretentious and you can pull off jeans, t-shirt and look hot. Nothing sexier then a guy who smells good (not too much cologne) wrapping his arm around you to help you hold your billiard stick correctly. Note: If she’s a pool shark and you’re not, proceed with caution. No one likes a sore loser, but it is nice to let your girl shine.
  • Bi-Plane Ride – I spent many years with a guy who owned a bi-plane. Every Friday we would fly somewhere and have lunch. Most local airports offer bi-plane rides. If you’ve never been in a one, it’s an amazing experience. Go for a ride, follow the ride with a nice meal out – it’s a day to remember.
  • Irish Pub– Read “The Date I will Never Forget
  • In Home Dining– Set up a table with a nice cloth, light some candles, a few flowers, put on some good music, get nice bottle of red wine and cook a wicked spaghetti dish. If you have a backyard put the table in the middle of the yard. A terrace or porch is great too. Create your own hotel setting. Girls LOVE romance! Don’t expect sex though, especially when this is a first date and a first impression.
  • Festivals – Not as unique, but shows you’re up on what’s going on. Girls like guys in the know. Whether it be an Apple, Strawberry, Renaissance, Beer, Music, Greek or Italian festival, it’s makes for easy conversation.
  • Glass Blowing – I think blowing glass is sexy. Almost like the movie “Ghost” when Demi Moore and Patrick Swayze were making pottery. Creating something together and leaving with a keepsake will show her you’re not just a beer and sports guy. Nothing wrong with beer and sports, but she will love to see your other sides.

Bonus: Museums, aquariums, planetariums, amusement parks, and art exhibits. Most of us don’t go to these places on a regular basis. A dark aquarium is kinda romantic, looking at stars will give you more familiarity to find constellations together in the open sky and sharing adrenaline on a roller coaster will get the endorphins going.

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You Get Her. You Got Her.

Your girlfriend is driving you nuts, you’re attracted to a chick who treats you like crap, you’re in a soul sucking relationship… Read on.

Women are not easy. Hard fact: the sexes are wired differently.  I can’t tell you how many times I was dating a nice guy who had potential to be a great boyfriend but he just didn’t get it. Did you know a male baby goes through a chemical wash in the mother’s womb? This means you have partial destruction of fibers connecting the left and right sides of your brain. Because of this boys have unilateral thinking, while girls have bi-lateral. There’s nothing wrong with that, it just makes men and women different in how we think.

 

My first thought is: do not try to understand us. My second thought is: I have 5 tips for you.

 

1.We act on emotion. When we say “ leave me alone!” We don’t always mean it. What we say is not always what we feel. This is because our brains are processing both emotional and logical cues. We may say leave me alone because that makes logical sense, but we’re still processing the emotional side. Men will usually respond with either logic or emotion and the other will come along eventually. We’re processing both at the same time and sometimes we need a minute to get our actual, honest reaction out.

2. We have a very good memory. Be careful of what you say or do, because it will come back to haunt you. We remember details about all kinds of shit that you’ve long forgotten — both the good and the bad. Letting go is not easy for us. If you don’t understand, at least try. You get huge points for making an honest effort — and we’ll remember it!

3. Trust will get you beyond the bases. If a chick trusts you, she will be yours. Some women don’t trust due to their past. If your gal has trust issues, communicate with her. Ease her fears. Women like to talk. Guys like to walk. Learn how to talk the walk.

4. Watch some chick flicks, listen to how girls interact with each other. Learn to read women. You will start seeing patterns and understand what makes us laugh, what makes us cry, what turns us and off. Screenplay writers have a great sense of grasping what’s real.

5. Pick up a women’s magazine like Cosmo. Glance through the articles and the questions girls ask. This is a great way to get some insight into how we really think.

One'>Hotel Etiquette – Yes! Two Beds —–> One

It’s summer, everyone is out having fun, you just started dating a girl or have a girl friend you’d like to get to know better. How nice would it be to do a weekend trip? One little problem: you’ve haven’t slept with her yet. Yup, it’s awkward. It’s definitely awkward. Do you ask her if she wants her own room? Do you get one room and play it by ear? Sticky situation. I want to tell you about an experience I had which gave me a lot of insight to write this blog.

At the time, I was living in Los Angeles. I received a text from a guy I grew up with that said “Hey, I’m in San Fran this weekend, if I send you a ticket, will you come up?” Without thinking, I sent a text back  “Sure.”

I hear the swoosh of my text and all I can think is  “OMG! I just told him I would come spend the night!” I never even kissed this guy let alone get intimate with him! I was attracted to him, but I wasn’t ready to jump into bed with him.  Crap! Good Job Lorraine, now what?

I asked myself:

“Will he get me my own room?”

“Should I ask for my own room?”

“Maybe I should tell him I forgot I had plans?” etc. . .

What did I do? Nothing.   I decided to wait and deal with it when I got there.

Fast forward: my flight landed, my friend picked me up at the airport, we went out for a nice dinner, followed by a romantic walk along the water.  So far so good. During the drive back to the hotel we caught up on each others lives. We covered everything except the sleeping arrangements. (Of course I’m mentally kicking myself for not being clear about the room situation.)

We get to the hotel, as we’re walking down the hall to the room, I start freaking out because I’m nervous and don’t want to share a bed with him.  Slowly, he opens the the door, and steps aside so I can walk in.  What do I see? TWO BEDS! I was shocked. I think he saw the look on my face because he said “I didn’t want to assume.”  I couldn’t believe he got two beds! How classy was that? At that moment, I felt respected; the pressure was off. I had choices.  (Btw, the second bed was never used.)

I wanted to share this is because it’s important for you to know that if you respect a woman, she will let down her guard and start trusting you. If your goal is intimacy, establishing trust in the beginning of a relationship is critical.

Take Away

Don’t assume. If you haven’t slept with a girl and would like to take her away, be upfront with her.  Ask her if she wants her own room or a two bedroom suite, same room- two beds, one bed?  A woman likes to be in control.  Give her choices. If she says “yes”  she wants her own room, don’t take it personally.  Some of us need time. Just because you book two rooms doesn’t mean you can’t end up in one.

#1 Profile Mistake

For the first time in my life, I went on an online dating site to see wtf it was all about.  I discovered so many things that I didn’t know.  I will get into that later.  Right now, before this holiday weekend, I want to tell you my biggest takeaway.  And don’t say
I’m basing it on the fact that I’m a professional photographer. Guys you need to take this seriously.

As a diplomatic female, looking at photos of guys online, I’m wondering ” What the hell is it with the selfies of guys holding a cell phone in the mirror?.”  Holy Crap!  If your doing this, you need to STOP right now!!  Get a buddy to take a shot, hire someone, do anything but stop the craziness of the lame deer in the headlight shot with your cell phone and a dirty mirror. You have 10 seconds to catch a women’s attention.

Due to this discovery, I will be writing a book on  ” How To Show Up Online.”

Goal is, Do not sabotage yourself and Do not lose dates before you have them.

As honest as it comes — Lorraine xox

Happy Memorial Weekend!