I recently got back together with an incredible guy from Atlanta. We dated a few years ago and were lucky enough to have another stab at making it work when the timing was right. This is guy who I think I’m in love with or could definitely fall in love with.
He was in town staying at my apartment in LA with me, everything was great. I had to leave and go back East and let him continue to stay at my place. It was a new beginning until the one unfortunate night we spoke on the phone after having a few drinks.
He said something that upset me and I frickin’ broke up with him. Yes, I can blame it on being a hot tempered red head, but really? How lame! Here I am, a relationship coach, I stop guys from acting spontaneously and doing stupid things they may regret and look what I did!
So now, I’m paying for my rash behavior. Sitting on the plane, feeling sorry for myself, realizing that I will soon be crawling under my sheets that smell like the guy I’m missing the crap out of. Can’t wait for that tear jerker. Maybe I should watch Titanic and really live it up.
If you’re wondering where I’m going with this, it’s definitely not for you to feel sorry for me. I want to share two pieces of advice I got years ago during a relationship coaching course that I should have listened to and everybody should keep in their back pocket.
- When someone says something hurtful, say this one powerful four letter word “ouch.” That’s it. Just “ouch.” Don’t get into saying resentful digs that won’t go away. Think it through, and wait for the right moment to have a diplomatic conversation.
- Before you end anything, take one week. If after a week you still feel the same and want to break up — go for it.
Many times we say things we don’t mean in the heat of the moment and then we beat ourselves up for losing what we had.
And that’s where I am. I didn’t abide by either piece of advice. Now it’s about a week later and I feel horrible. I’m not sure if the damage I caused can be repaired.
If something comes up with your girl or you’re dwelling on something that’s upsetting you, don’t do something you may regret. I offer a free 30-minute consultation or free email advice. You can get your feelings out with me and maybe save a good relationship.